Temple University: things you should know

Temple University is one of the best schools in Pennsylvania, but before you apply or come up to visit a friend, here are a few things that you should know about the campus. 

                                                                               

Sirens. They will be your alarm clock in the morning, and your lullaby to fall asleep at night.

If you drive a car and live off-campus, do not leave anything remotely valuable showing because you will probably come back to your car hung-over after a long night of drinking to find that your window has been smashed.

Do not let the Temple security guards fool you. These guys do absolutely nothing except ride bikes around looking like they are training for the Tour de France. If you’re a girl walking to a party on the weekend, there is a good chance they will hit on you instead of looking out for your safety. If you drunkenly stumble by them, they will either laugh at you or help you get to your destination.

Campus Wi-Fi could potentially be the reason that you throw your computer out the window. It sucks. You might spend half of your class trying to connect, and when you finally do, your professor will probably tell you to put your computer away.

Avoid walking down Montgomery at all costs when it is cold. It may seem like it is a nice day with a slight breeze, but then you turn down Montgomery and that slight breeze turns into a tornado and you now feel like your living in the Alaskan wilderness.

Finals week? The library will be filled with more Asians than usual. Going to the tech might be worth it, but only if you enjoy walking around for hours trying to find a computer.

Thanksgiving break does not exist. You will have class the day before Thanksgiving and your professor will not cancel that class.

That loud bang you heard out your window when your trying to sleep at night was a gunshot. If sirens followed that loud bang you heard, it was definitely a gunshot.

Montgomery Beer Distributor delivers cases to your house. This is clutch. Very clutch.

Sunday night into Monday is trash day. Trash day means two things. First, it means that the bums will be rustling through your recyclables trying to collect every last beer can so they can get paid. Second, it means that when you are walking to class on Monday, the city of Philadelphia will somehow manage to smell even worse than it already does.

It is not unusual to be standing inches from a squirrel. Some people feed the squirrels.

Yes, there is two feet of snow on the ground. No, classes are not canceled and your mid-term is still due.

Wednesdays are the only days that you should go to the Draught Horse. They have $1 Bud Lites from 9-12 and the place actually gets crowded. Don’t try to get in with a fake ID, use someone’s real one. If you have a fake ID, go to Maxi’s.

Spring Fling will be held on a weekday. Temple supports students going to class drunk or not going to class at all.

Temple art students go to Tyler, not Temple. The Tyler School of Art was once a separate institution, but is now part of Temple. Don’t bother arguing with them about it just let them be.

The bums like to hang out in various spots around campus. Rite Aid is definitely one of the most popular hangouts. When they ask you for money, keep walking and say that you only have a card. If it is getting close to the holidays, you might find it hard to walk away while they are begging you for money so that they can buy their kids Christmas presents. It is highly unlikely that they are going to buy their kids any presents, as there is a store that sells malt liquor right across the street.